Being Alone
Having such a big support system is wonderful. They are my rock. The ones I lean on. The call at any time of the night or day to just listen to all my fears. They mean everything to me. However, some nights, I like to sit alone. To think alone. To process alone. To feel things I don't share with anyone. To think things that I keep to myself. With our journey getting more complicated, we are going through more testing. More tests everyone wants answers for that I don't have. Answers that I won't have. For reasons that I don't know. I can ask all the questions and still feel so confused. We keep getting failed tests with no plan on how to pass them. We sit in this gray area with no feeling of being any closer to having a baby. This gray area where we wonder what we can be doing differently to change these tests, but are being told there is nothing for us to do right now. We are failing, but we aren't failing enough for more help, for more direction and more plans. ...