The Struggle Is Part Of The Story

I was reading an article the other day about a baby born after infertility needing it's own term. That a baby born after a miscarriage or infant loss is a rainbow baby and a baby born before a miscarriage is a sun baby. They also mention the term for babies born asleep, Angel babies. The article said that babies who are conceived after infertility don't have their own term and there needs to be one. So this got me thinking, I had always thought a baby born in the midst of infertility was a rainbow baby?  So I began to ponder, By definition a rainbow is the beauty after the storm. I read this and I thought my struggle is a storm.... It's scary, and dark. It leaves me feeling hopeless at times. My dreams get blown off in the wind. Why wouldn't my baby be a rainbow baby?  After awhile I realized, it doesn't matter what I label my baby. It can be a rainbow baby after my own storm. It can be my warrior baby after a fight I never gave up to be a mother. A little on...

Even though I have not experienced a failed pregnancy, does not mean I have not experienced loss. Infertility loss encompasses so much more than one thinks, or can ever imagine. Have you lost something or someone every month for a year? Twelve losses a year; yet still wake up each day, put on a smile for the world because that is what they expect. I have always dreamed of becoming a mother. I can imagine myself sitting in a rocking chair, holding my growing belly while my miracle flutters inside. I see myself staring around at the finished nursery set for my bundle of joy. I rock and enjoy the silence before my bundle arrives knowing life couldn't be more perfect; but each month that doesn't happen, I experience loss. The loss of the dream to become a mother. The loss of making my husband a father. As the months drag on and that very dream becomes further away, I experience loss. The loss of hope it can ever happen. The sparkle of hope that this dream could ever bec...