The Struggle Is Part Of The Story

People who have not experienced infertility treatment may think it is so nice to have a planned pregnancy on a schedule. I have heard comments like Wow, how convenient is it that you don't have to do the work of sex and you can actually schedule the day of conception. From the outside looking in, I can see how it might present that way. The idea that its a controlled process, on a specific date with extra help from medical professionals, but convenience and schedules are the last words I would use to describe my infertility treatment. Setting aside the cost of infertility treatment, the treatment itself is, in my opinion, inconvenient. It is solely based on how much I want it so I make it work. I take medication that alters my body, my feelings, my emotions and my thinking. Though this medication lasts only one week, the effects for me are felt about 3 weeks. I follow that with days of tests until one day I get a smiley face and have the privilege of being inseminated the next day...

The dreaded "are you trying" question. Everyone asks it. Everyone wonders. Do they honestly know the baggage that comes with that question? If they did, I am sure they would never ask. Do they want to know how many days a month you test ovulation and how they all come back negative? Do they want to see your temperature charts for the past six months that have no clear rise or drop in them? Do they just want a simple "yes, we are" while your crumble inside knowing you have tried everything you have ever read and still fail. Maybe you say no, because you are so far into trying you have hit the end and want to give it all up. I know I have been there. I have hit that point. The point that you stop all ovulation tests, you stop taking your temperature every morning, you try to stop seeing the dates on the calendar. You say you aren't trying anymore. You say you'll just wait and see if it'll happen because well now you are relaxed and you aren't "tr...