Baby Making Myths

Myth #1 Time together makes a baby. Contrary to popular belief, the length of time people know each other, is not related to making a baby. That's right, you heard me, time is not relative to baby making. People everywhere think because you are with someone for a long time, babies just start popping out. Babies are not made from time. Nowhere do you see a onesie that says "made with time" or "I am the one year of marriage magic baby". Unfortunately we are not gifted children based on the time we spend together with people. Also, people think wow they were only together a few months and they already had a baby, again, babies are not made based on time. It doesn't matter how long or how short you are with someone, time is not a factor that creates a baby.
Myth #2 Marriage makes a baby. Friends and family members expect babies from married people.
Outsiders think wow you have been together 8 years and you are married, why don't you have any kids? Well, upon getting my marriage license I did not receive a coupon good for one free baby. If they are giving them out somewhere please let me know, but last time I checked, marriage is a commitment between two people, not a key component to making a baby. Fun fact, people who aren't married can make babies too! Marriage does not make a baby.
Myth #3 It is okay to ask random strangers about having children just like asking what they had for dinner. In society we have been told to keep money hush hush. Don't talk about debt, don't talk about money you have or don't have. Baby talk should also be just as taboo. I was that person. I worked plenty of customer service jobs, and I would ask, so are you having kids anytime soon? Now that I am in the position I am in, never would I ask that question again. You never know the situation someone is in. It might be money, it might be they decided not to have kids, it might be infertility. We just don't know, just like you don't know what they have in their savings account so just refrain from asking. Still so many strangers will ask me if I am having kids or have any. They ask this question within minutes of meeting me. What happened to do you have pets? Boyfriend? Husband? Are you in school? There are plenty other less personal options to start with, especially a person you don't know. Talking about having babies is not simple conversation like "how is the weather outside?" It's complicated like "have you saved enough for your funeral." If you wouldn't ask them that, then don't ask them if they are having or have any kids. Believe me, if they have kids, you will soon find out because they'll be so inclined to share the loves of their life. If they don't share, don't ask.
I have struggled for so long that I see the world differently. I don't ask what I used to. I don't assume what I used to. And I don't judge like I used to. I will hear comments like "my son has been married for a year now I'm sure He will be having a baby soon" from my coworkers and I am not afraid to remind her, time is not relative to baby making, marriage is not relative to baby making. Wait until they bring that up to you. You don't know what situation they are in or where they are at in their life plans. Don't add stress and pressure to an already stressful situation. It just adds to the list of disappointed people.
I am very open about our infertility. If someone asks me if we are having kids, I will answer well hopefully someday, we are actually going through infertility treatment. They look at me dumb founded. They feel awkward. They don't want to talk about infertility. That's weird to them. They weren't ready for the real answer, but they asked the question.
Be careful with your words, some people are not as open. They hide their pain, and will continue to smile and laugh off your questions and comments as they crumble inside. Please remember time doesn't make a baby. Marriage doesn't make a baby. Lastly, don't forget asking about babies is not similar to asking about the weather.