Bump Envy
This is for all the women out there who are struggling each and every day with infertility or loss. The women who feel like no matter where they go or where they look someone is pregnant! The women who see people having babies who do not take care of them. The women who feel like life just is not fair!
I know exactly how you are feeling, you try, try and try again with no luck while other women can just get pregnant from a guy glancing at them. (Not literally but that is how it feels)
You feel like you must have done something horrible in life to be put through this pain of trying with no success.
You wonder, "what did I do wrong to deserve a life like this" or "why don't I deserve a baby too?"
Believe me, I know these feelings all too well. The pregnancy announcements made me cry. The pregnant women in line at the store made me angry. The stories on the news with babies dying from being left in a car just fueled my anger more and more! Why do these women get babies they don't love and I can't for the life of me have just one?!
Then one day, just a few months ago, all my anger went away. All my jealousy vanished. I felt no emotion towards pregnant women in the store. I was happy for the pregnancy announcements for they just created miracle! Of course seeing children on the news die because of incompetent parenting still made me angry but who wouldn't be?
What changed you might ask? The fact that no matter how mad I was, that wouldn't make a baby. No matter how jealous I would be, it wouldn't make a baby. I stopped asking why do they deserve a baby and I don't, because I don't know them. I don't know their story. They could have been trying for 5 years and this is their 3rd cycle of IVF. This could be their first pregnancy that made it past 15 weeks unlike their first 2. That is when I finally found my journey. When you let go of comparing yourself to other women, you will find peace in your journey too. You aren't like other women. You are a warrior, who will fight to do anything for a baby!
So much anger and jealousy is not healthy. It does not help create a clear mind space to start focusing on yourself and finding answers for you. Stop asking "why can't I?" and start thinking "when I do."
I know exactly how you are feeling, you try, try and try again with no luck while other women can just get pregnant from a guy glancing at them. (Not literally but that is how it feels)
You feel like you must have done something horrible in life to be put through this pain of trying with no success.
You wonder, "what did I do wrong to deserve a life like this" or "why don't I deserve a baby too?"
Believe me, I know these feelings all too well. The pregnancy announcements made me cry. The pregnant women in line at the store made me angry. The stories on the news with babies dying from being left in a car just fueled my anger more and more! Why do these women get babies they don't love and I can't for the life of me have just one?!
Then one day, just a few months ago, all my anger went away. All my jealousy vanished. I felt no emotion towards pregnant women in the store. I was happy for the pregnancy announcements for they just created miracle! Of course seeing children on the news die because of incompetent parenting still made me angry but who wouldn't be?
What changed you might ask? The fact that no matter how mad I was, that wouldn't make a baby. No matter how jealous I would be, it wouldn't make a baby. I stopped asking why do they deserve a baby and I don't, because I don't know them. I don't know their story. They could have been trying for 5 years and this is their 3rd cycle of IVF. This could be their first pregnancy that made it past 15 weeks unlike their first 2. That is when I finally found my journey. When you let go of comparing yourself to other women, you will find peace in your journey too. You aren't like other women. You are a warrior, who will fight to do anything for a baby!
So much anger and jealousy is not healthy. It does not help create a clear mind space to start focusing on yourself and finding answers for you. Stop asking "why can't I?" and start thinking "when I do."
Comments
Post a Comment